Every wedding is unique and different in its own way, but they’re also all pretty similar in the same ways.
That’s because the concept of a wedding ceremony is fairly well-defined throughout the world, and there are a few elements you can expect to see in one, especially here in America.
For the sake of simplicity, we’re going to call these elements our wedding ceremony must-haves.
1. The Entrance (Drama Optional)
It doesn’t have to be overly dramatic, but the entrance is really what kicks everything off.
In particular, the moment the bride enters is traditionally when that iconic wedding music plays.
By the way, for those of you who have ever been curious, the name of that song is “Mendelssohn’s Wedding March.”
You’re welcome. 😉
2. Officiant’s Remarks
This is one of the reasons it’s vital to choose your officiant carefully.
Unless you both have a very robust sense of humor, you’re going to want to go with someone who is experienced in weddings or at least in public speaking.
Once you’ve both entered and are at the altar together, the officiant will begin the official part of the ceremony with their opening remarks.
That’s basically where they formally welcome everyone, introduce both of you, and announce what’s about to happen.
3. The Vows
Of course, this is on a list of wedding ceremony must-haves.
However, unless you’re both particularly adventurous, you don’t actually need to write your own vows.
Our wise ancestors saw fit to write down a uniform set of vows that are standard at most weddings, and you can simply use those.
But be sure that you both fully understand them before publicly agreeing to them.
After all, the marriage that follows the wedding is far more important than the wedding itself.
4. The Exchanging of Rings
Yes, it’s not only the bride who gets a ring.
In fact, the big shiny diamonds we associate with wedding proposals and with that one DiCaprio movie from 2006 (Blood Diamond) weren’t really a thing until around the 1940s.
That’s because diamonds are crazy expensive, and most people historically couldn’t afford them.
However, due to the global monopolization of the gems by a single infamous corporation and that same corporation’s equally infamous “A Diamond Is Forever” marketing campaign, most of us moderns now find it hard to imagine a wedding or marriage without one of these luxurious conflict stones.
We’re being slightly dark and sarcastic here. But the truth is that the ring exchange can realistically be considered a wedding ceremony must-have here in America because it’s so ingrained at this point.
But you can easily replace price-inflated transparent gemstones of dubious origin with other types of ethically mined gems or even more affordable lab-grown diamonds.
5. The Pronouncement
This is really the big moment.
Once you’ve both exchanged your rings and your vows, your officiant will formally announce that you’re married now and introduce you to everyone present as a married couple.
In other words, this is the “By the power vested in me by ___, I now pronounce you ___ and ___” part.
From this moment on, you are now socially considered married.
Take The Law Seriously
As for the legal side of things, you may or may not have already handled that with the state.
In that vein, it’s always good to visit lawyers (separately) and get a prenup hammered out at least 6 months before your wedding because the process forces you both to address and clarify your respective values and expectations of each other.
This fosters the kind of mutual understanding that many couples getting married tend to lack.
It also helps both of you understand the legal protections the state provides—or does not provide.
And FYI, it’s even more critical if either of you already has kids or wants to have any.
As it’s often said, everyone gets a prenup, whether they like it or not—it’s just that, if you don’t write it yourselves, the state writes it for you.
6. The Recessional
Your big exit.
You’ve finally done it.
You’ve waded through the paperwork, navigated the bureaucracy, endured tense conversations, met each other’s families, and declared your intention to live together until one or both of you dies.
Now you get to walk off the stage like actors in an action movie, calmly walking away from an explosion without looking back at it.
Or you could be less dramatic than that.
It’s really up to you.
Optionals
The Kiss
We’re putting this under “optional” because, while it is customary for the newlywed couple to share a kiss in front of everyone after the pronouncement, some couples might not want to.
This is actually becoming increasingly common here in the US as more and more couples are international and intercultural.
And that’s because most cultures throughout the world do not kiss at weddings (or at least they didn’t used to).
So, people from those cultures might find it uncomfortable, as indeed many Americans do as well.
Many cultures also don’t have the exchanging of rings or vows, but we made a call to include them as essentials, just because this is still America.
We know it’s arbitrary.
Culture-Specific Rituals & Traditions
We’re wrapping up rituals that are specific to a particular religion under this as well.
These would be things like stepping on the glass wrapped in tin foil, jumping the broom, tea ceremonies, and so on.
Every culture has particular rituals or customs that are viewed as wedding ceremony must-haves.
And while we haven’t listed all those here because we’re operating off the traditional American standard, depending on what culture(s) your families are from, one or more of these things might be considered essentials for you.
Our Closing Remarks
There’s a lot more we could say about wedding ceremonies, which probably isn’t a shock considering the fact that we run a wedding venue.
But we’ll wrap things up here by making a closing statement.
Regardless of how you both choose to organize and put on your wedding ceremony, always remember that it’s only a single event.
Your ceremony alone has no legal bearing on your lives, and whatever promises you make to each other in front of your family and friends are irrelevant as far as the state is concerned.
So, consult lawyers and get your legal house in order at least 6 months before your wedding.
Get On The Same Page & Stay There
Also, keep in mind that the most important of all wedding ceremony must-haves is not actually part of the ceremony, but the ceremony is not as meaningful without it.
We’re talking about the mutual understanding you both have of your respective responsibilities and expectations of each other as spouses.
And that applies to the law, your religion(s), your culture(s), and everything else that matters to either of you.
If it could ever possibly become a source of disagreement or conflict, sort it out in writing at least 6 months before the wedding.
Marriage is a spiritual bond, but it’s also a legal contract and the most legally significant thing you will ever do.
So, know what you’re agreeing to before you agree to it.
